Sunday, March 6, 2011

The flu is barftabulous!

Two out of the five family members have come down with the flu in the last week, so my mind is understandably consumed with whether or not I'm going to get it.
I'm awful when it comes to nurturing a kid with the pukes. While I don't deliver food to them as if they were serial killers in a maximum security prison, I do run and scrub my hands and arms with antibacterial soap and scalding hot water. I show my concern by scouring the toilet to give them a "clean" place to barf.
I have a fear of puking in front of others (among my other phobias). Once, I had an adverse reaction to a medication that I was taking and puked in the parking lot where I work. This was witnessed by another person who had the NERVE to ask me, "Are you alright?" Had the shoe been on the other foot, I would have walked away, not acknowledging that person's existence. After I managed to squeak, "I'm awesome! Nothing to see here!" in as chipper a voice as I could muster, I spent the next 20 minutes trying to figure out if I would have to quit my job. I wound up deciding that since I didn't recognize that person, the odds of me ever seeing her again were slim enough that I didn't have to quit. However, if that lady ever gets transferred to my department, I would probably surrender my job before I surrendered my dignity. Note to others who enter my hijacked life, if you ever see me throw up it is best to pretend that it never happened!!!!